Is there a word for that?

We aussies have a remarkable knack for stealing phrases from other languages and shoe-horning them into our vernacular, often murdering the meaning or pronounciation in the process. "Par-don-em-waahh?" I hear you interject in defiance, "Say-imp-poss-see-blah!"

Here's a few I've come across that I intend to steal in the near future.

L'esprit de l'escalier
Literally means "the spirit of the staircase". It's a French term used to describe those moments when you think of the most intelligent, witty, ego-deflating retort, five hours after the opportunity to deliver said brilliance has passed.

Backpfeifengesich
A German word (yes, that's a single word) that means, "A face crying out for a fist in it"

Tingo
A Pascuense word that means "To borrow things from your friend's house one by one until there's nothing left"

Kummerspeck
Literally "grief bacon". German for weight gain caused by eating your feelings.

Schadenfreude
Again, German for "Happiness at the misfortune of others". How Germanic is that?!

Je ne parle pas français

I like to pretend I'm hell french, and most of the time I pull it off. The reality is I can only speak the absolute basics of conversational Francais; like the shit you learn from watching Madeline.

Legs and the Bunny

If I could still get away with scribbling your initals on my wrist in texta, I totally would.

Loving...

Cold watermelon, thunderstorms, Hydromask, unpretentious intelligence, dance-offs and soul trains, green eyes, penguins and pirates, New York, grace and integrity, cleverness and wit, back tickles, sea turtles, stupid laughs, fabulous men, adventures, home, long lunches, family, bright smiles, uninhibited friendship, hot legs, midnight blue, airports, sisterly-speculation, movie nights, consistency, journalists, five inch heels, wine-time, Redskins, lipstick-feminists and educated activists, talking fast and dancing slowly, fat lashes, collarbones, inappropriate conversations, happy-snaps, notoriety, serenity, reading, writing, and rocking the world!

The Consolations of Philosophy

We feel guilty because we are guilty.

Let it go. Let it out.
Let it all unravel.
Let it be free and it can be
A path on which to travel.

-Michael Leunig

Salty Days and Starry Nights

For years we've flitted about this sweet flirtation. Nothing too dramatic, just the type of crush that never evolves; exchanging furtive smiles across crowed rooms, and slinking away for steamy kisses on sultry nights after too much sangria; away from the judgemental stares of lifelong friends who'll complicate things with too many questions...

Just to mix things up a bit...

See ya later blondey, nice knowing you xx

Nerd alert!

Never, ever study Mass Communication if you ever want to be a normal person again any time in the future. Years ago, I'd go to sleep with a notepad and pen next to me because I often wake up with these great ideas for essays or stories in the middle of the night. Last night, I was having a nocturnal stroke of genius, and as I typed my idea into a note on my BlackBerry, then emailed that note to myself so I could pick it on my lappy in the morning, I actually said to myself, and I believe this is verbatim, "That, my friends, is digitial convergence theory in practice. Oh yeah!" What?! Am I some kind of power-nerd?! Oh my god make it stop!

A Robert Palmer girl with fangs...

...simply exsanguinable.

Advance Australia Fair Hair

Ironically, the same Aussie kids who threw rocks at my then 8-year-old mother on the streets of Brisbane and Melbourne while their parents stood by doing nothing to stop them, spitting at her as she passed cause she was a filthy "wog" (apparently wog used to mean anyone from Europe in the 50's) now stop me on the street to coo and gush about how nice it is to see a "real" Australian-looking girl, "for a change", they add with a sneer. What does that even mean? Sometimes people disappoint me.